16 Things every military spouse should know

I don't write much about military life but recently in a lot of facebook groups I see a lot of new wives asking questions, seeking advice and looking for comfort. So, I asked around, and got a great list of things every spouse,new and seasoned, should know about this lifestyle.

1. Do something for yourself. This is so important. You need to have that one thing to look forward to. Some wives go out and get their nails done, I personally plan group dinners with friends.

2. Make friends. You are not in this alone. When I first came out to 29palms I had a rough time. It took me 6 months to make friends, but once I did I learned to enjoy myself. Emma was only 6 months old but I still went to playdates at the park with the lovely ladies I met, I mean come on we need adult time as much as the kids need play time.

3. Plan for the worst, enjoy the best. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS plan for the military to mess up your plans. Be it family vacation, deployments dates, return dates, field ops, You will have to reschedule your life over and over again. So, never buy plane tickets without insurance, or hotel rooms that are non refundable.

4. Nothing is guaranteed. You know that saying "nothing in life is guaranteed in life except for death and taxes" with the military nothing is guaranteed except late nights at work, and frustration. Until you are in the middle of it, don't count on it. Even in the middle you can still get thrown off course! 

5. Your spouse will miss important days. It is okay to be sad, but remember they are feeling sad too. Don't blame them, don't ask "why didn't you try harder to be here" because it is out of their control. Plus when they can  be there for important dates you can cherish it a little bit more.

6. Find a hobby. It is so easy to become bitter about this life when you sit at home alone all day. The great thing about military life is there are so many resources. Volunteer with your husbands unit, attend LINKS classes, join MOPS, find a CWF group, bible study, chruch, play groups, just find something.

7. Go to College.  If you desire an education get one! Don't wait. Military spouses can receive HUGE discounts on tuition. Also consider your might qualify to use your spouses GI Bill.

8. Don't get caught up in the drama. Yes, there is drama. Bickering, name calling, yup just like high school! Don't get involved in that mess, just turn around and walk away!

9. Find out what services your base has to offer. Being that we are in the middle if nowhere our base offers quite a few activities. From fall festivals, Easter egg hunts, sports teams for adults and children, 5ks for those who enjoy running, and much more. 

10. Deployments aren't the end of the world. Don't let yourself get caught up in the depression. Also refer to #6.

11. Learn the lingo. No news is good news, Semper Gumby, head, deck, they will soon become part of your vocabulary. Learn the abbvreations: IPAC, DTS, DMO, and hundreds more. You will need them to understand so much of this life. 

12. Support him. You are the one he comes home to everyday, after a crappy day at work. The last thing he needs to hear is 101 reasons for him to get out. He chose this job, not it may not be what he expected, but every job comes with bumps and bruises. Remind him why he chose this job. Let him know you are there for him and love him. 

13. Don't forget your place. Okay, before you get mad keep reading. You do not  hold rank. It doesn't matter to anyone of your husband is an officer with 12 years under his belt or a e-1 with 6 months. And trust me the people who do care, don't matter. You won't get saluted coming though gate, no one is going to listen to you because you are a staff sargents wife. When it comes down to it, your are just another civilian. 

14. Calling so and so's command won't fix your problems. Corporal smiths, officer doesn't care if his wife called you a bully on Facebook. Two words: letti go.  Now there are probably times to get a command involved but if that arises you should probably call the MPs first. 

15. You represent your spouse. While it is true he can not be punished for your behavior, please present yourself with decorum and class. I am not sure about other bases but I know this one has a dress code. Put some clothes on. Cover yourself up, this ain't Walmart. K? Got it? Also keep in mind, being on base, shopping on base, etc. is a privilege. You can have it taken away with unacceptable behavior/dress. 

16. Shop on base. It will save you money! Even with the surcharge I pay much less shopping at the commissary than I do out in town. Also our exchange lets us take in ads or even use online ones for price comparison shopping, which is great because I find the exchange to be a bit pricey but it is local! Gas is also cheaper on base! 

Is there anything else you would share with a new or seasoned spouse?