16 Things every military spouse should know

I don't write much about military life but recently in a lot of facebook groups I see a lot of new wives asking questions, seeking advice and looking for comfort. So, I asked around, and got a great list of things every spouse,new and seasoned, should know about this lifestyle.

1. Do something for yourself. This is so important. You need to have that one thing to look forward to. Some wives go out and get their nails done, I personally plan group dinners with friends.

2. Make friends. You are not in this alone. When I first came out to 29palms I had a rough time. It took me 6 months to make friends, but once I did I learned to enjoy myself. Emma was only 6 months old but I still went to playdates at the park with the lovely ladies I met, I mean come on we need adult time as much as the kids need play time.

3. Plan for the worst, enjoy the best. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS plan for the military to mess up your plans. Be it family vacation, deployments dates, return dates, field ops, You will have to reschedule your life over and over again. So, never buy plane tickets without insurance, or hotel rooms that are non refundable.

4. Nothing is guaranteed. You know that saying "nothing in life is guaranteed in life except for death and taxes" with the military nothing is guaranteed except late nights at work, and frustration. Until you are in the middle of it, don't count on it. Even in the middle you can still get thrown off course! 

5. Your spouse will miss important days. It is okay to be sad, but remember they are feeling sad too. Don't blame them, don't ask "why didn't you try harder to be here" because it is out of their control. Plus when they can  be there for important dates you can cherish it a little bit more.

6. Find a hobby. It is so easy to become bitter about this life when you sit at home alone all day. The great thing about military life is there are so many resources. Volunteer with your husbands unit, attend LINKS classes, join MOPS, find a CWF group, bible study, chruch, play groups, just find something.

7. Go to College.  If you desire an education get one! Don't wait. Military spouses can receive HUGE discounts on tuition. Also consider your might qualify to use your spouses GI Bill.

8. Don't get caught up in the drama. Yes, there is drama. Bickering, name calling, yup just like high school! Don't get involved in that mess, just turn around and walk away!

9. Find out what services your base has to offer. Being that we are in the middle if nowhere our base offers quite a few activities. From fall festivals, Easter egg hunts, sports teams for adults and children, 5ks for those who enjoy running, and much more. 

10. Deployments aren't the end of the world. Don't let yourself get caught up in the depression. Also refer to #6.

11. Learn the lingo. No news is good news, Semper Gumby, head, deck, they will soon become part of your vocabulary. Learn the abbvreations: IPAC, DTS, DMO, and hundreds more. You will need them to understand so much of this life. 

12. Support him. You are the one he comes home to everyday, after a crappy day at work. The last thing he needs to hear is 101 reasons for him to get out. He chose this job, not it may not be what he expected, but every job comes with bumps and bruises. Remind him why he chose this job. Let him know you are there for him and love him. 

13. Don't forget your place. Okay, before you get mad keep reading. You do not  hold rank. It doesn't matter to anyone of your husband is an officer with 12 years under his belt or a e-1 with 6 months. And trust me the people who do care, don't matter. You won't get saluted coming though gate, no one is going to listen to you because you are a staff sargents wife. When it comes down to it, your are just another civilian. 

14. Calling so and so's command won't fix your problems. Corporal smiths, officer doesn't care if his wife called you a bully on Facebook. Two words: letti go.  Now there are probably times to get a command involved but if that arises you should probably call the MPs first. 

15. You represent your spouse. While it is true he can not be punished for your behavior, please present yourself with decorum and class. I am not sure about other bases but I know this one has a dress code. Put some clothes on. Cover yourself up, this ain't Walmart. K? Got it? Also keep in mind, being on base, shopping on base, etc. is a privilege. You can have it taken away with unacceptable behavior/dress. 

16. Shop on base. It will save you money! Even with the surcharge I pay much less shopping at the commissary than I do out in town. Also our exchange lets us take in ads or even use online ones for price comparison shopping, which is great because I find the exchange to be a bit pricey but it is local! Gas is also cheaper on base! 

Is there anything else you would share with a new or seasoned spouse?

I know you all have been waiting, so here it is...

The BBQ sauce recipe! 

I have had so many people ask for this recipe. Every time I make it, I take a jar to my neighbors. I used to joke with Sam, that is was the only reason she kept me around. My BBQ sauce. I have also had friends try and drink it. It is a combinations of lots of experimenting from random cookbooks, and online recipes.

I have 2 versions, one with vinegar and one without. There are so many ways to tweek it and change it, so have fun, be original and enjoy it! 

This is for the regular tangy sauce:

 

BBQ sauce

2 cups ketchup
2 cups tomato sauce
1 ¼ cups brown sugar
1 ¼ cups vinegar (white vinegar, apple cider vinegar, red wine vinegar or even white wine vinegar)
½ cup maple syrup/honey/molasses (I most often use honey)
4 teaspoons hickory flavored liquid smoke (DO NOT USE MESQUITE)
½ teaspoon garlic powder (or throw in 1-2 fresh minced cloves)
½ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon paprika
¼ teaspoon celery salt
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine everything in a large sauce pan. Bring to a low
boil, reduce to a simmer for 20 minutes.

For a sweeter sauce that is awesome on chicken and pork ribs drop the vinegar.

That's it. Super simple, and delicious!

Homeschooling

This year miss Emma is a Kindergartener! Now most parents are preparing to send their little ones off to school, and the little ones are preparing for a life as a big kid, all on their own in big kid school. But here in the Brisendine family we are preparing for our first year of official homeschooling!! Emma has occasionally asked why she can't go to big school, and I respond with, "Mommy would miss you too much, and I just want to be the one to teach you the things you need to know". Honestly, that is why we decided to homeschool. I want to be the one to raise our children, I want to be the biggest influence in their life.

So after lots of research I decided on a simple and straightforward curriculum from Alpha Omega Publications.We will be specifically be using the Horizons Curriculum.

 Horizons offers a great little package for Kindergarten. I like that it isn't lumped together so if we wanted to use a different math I could order it separately .

We will be using the Math, Reading and phonics, as well as the health package. 

I also wanted to do a bible study as well for the girls so we decided on, Explorer Bible Study, In the beginning it was good. 

Also if all goes according to plan for science we will be participating in the Jr. First Lego League this year. As a previous robo kid I could not be more excited for this. Once we get our team started there will be a post all about it. 

I am very excited to get this going for the girls and watch them grow and develop! 

I also love to be very organized. I know some people do well with online organizers but I am a girl who needs paper. I want to walk around with it, mark it up and erase. I need to be able to hold it. There are several cute planners out there for a small cost, but I dug deep and found an amazing one for free! Over at Tina's Dynamic Homeschool Plus. Not only is her planner free, it is freaking adorable with tons of cool options! As soon as I get my in a binder I will load up a completed pic, but for now you can see how I went printer crazy! She also has a home management binder as well.

Are you homeschooling this year? What curriculum are you using?

Emma is 5!

Last birthday post for the year! My oldest baby is 5! She decided to have a sleepover so we put together some pedicure kits, made bagel bites, ate cake and ice cream, and watched movies late (but not too late) into the night. We ended the party with a waffle breakfast. You can find the waffle recipe here. 

Tristyn is one!

Better late than never right? Especially now that another birthday has gone! Oops!

Anyways miss Tristyn turned one on July 12th and we had her party on the 13th. We featured a menu of southern fare. Chicken and waffle sliders, baked mac n cheese cups, sweet potato casserole, fruit salad, sweet tea, and of course red velvet cake (that didn't come out red, silly natural dye) with cream cheese frosting! We had a great time, and lots of love for this spunky little girl!

Vacation to Legoland

My oldest daughter has been asking to go to Lego land since she was 3! 

I am definitely glad we waited until this year, and she is now 5. 

We went all out and booked a room at the brand spankin new Legoland Resort hotel, and got 2 day tickets. 

The ticket cost:

The deal on the 2 day tickets was awesome for military. $50 each for 2 days at Legoland or $60 each for 2 day park hoppers. The park hoppers allow you to get into the waterpark and aquarium as well as the Legoland theme park. We decided with not being able to spend 2 full day we just did the Legoland theme park. 

The hotel: 

The Legoland hotel isn't cheap but trust me its worth the price! The kids loved it, and honestly I think hubs and I loved it just as much! 

When you book you can choose from 3 room themes: pirate, adventure or kingdom. Each floor has a designated theme so, if you prefer the first floor go with the kingdom. Pirate is on the second floor, and third is the adventure. Every part of the hotel is well decorated! Lego figures everywhere, extra large mini men who talk as you enter each room hall, and carpet that matches the themes as well! 

Even the elevators are fun! They are decorated as a disco party. With a disco ball. "Normal" elevator music as you load, then the door closes and a party ensues! 

Also each of the standard and premium rooms sleeps 5. They have a queen bed, then in the kids nook there are bunk beds and a trundle bed. The kids nook also has its own tv! Each room also has a safe, and the kids receive a treasure hunt upon check in, once they find all the clues they open the safe and find a surprise. 

Rooms also have a mini fridge, coffee maker, coffee essentials, and we also received water bottles, and juice boxes for the kids! Also there is a small bucket of Legos for kids to play with during free time!

We picked the pirate room! There were red and white striped comforters, red and white striped curtains, a log monkey guarding our safe, and even a coordinating shower curtain! 

For military discount call the hotel to book! 

Hotel restaurant:

The hotel has a few choices of places to eat. We picked the Bricks Family Restaurant and ate there twice: one dinner and one breakfast (they are closed for luck). They have a buffet that had a great variety from, BBQ to Asian. They also have a kids sized buffet that the kids loved being able to serve themselves from. Drinks are also included in the price. At dinnertime all the tables are covered in giant coloring sheets! The girls loved being able to color after they finished eating and mom  and dad were still munching! 

The other options for eating at the hotel include room service, mini's cafe and the skyline lounge. 

The park: 

When you book your room at the hotel you also receive early access to the park (hour early) and can ride a few of the high demand rides before the lines become outrageous! We took advantage of this and rode: The Fairy Tale Brook, The Safari Trek, The sky Cruiser (which still had a long line), and on day 2 we rode: sky tower, and got in line for the coastersaurus, but the kiddos got scared and didn't ride. 

We also learned go on Sunday instead of Saturday if at all possible! Man, the lines on Saturday were unbelievable. But Sunday we were able to ride many of the rides we did on Saturday with no wait time before noon!! Our original plan was to go during the week, but the Marine Corps had other plans, and that's okay ;) 

Ride Info:

Legoland is NOT a place for small children. As in children under 34". Most of the rides require a height if at least 36" and some even have an age restriction. 

This being said baby Tristyn didn't get to enjoy any rides except for the fairy tale brook. 

The great thing was that every ride was very accommodating. They had no problems letting us swap out and ride in 2s so we could take turns holding Tristyn! 

Emma and Abiageal had a blast! They rode almost all the rides they wanted too. The only real disappointment came is when we discovered they are too short for the teacup like ride. Their favorite ride was the Volvo jr driving school! The get to drive around a mini track with no help! It was hilarious and adorable watching them attempt to steer their way around the track!

Birthday extras:

When you get into the park make sure you let the person at the turnstile or ticket booth that you are celebrating a birthday. The birthday guest will receive a free button with their name on it, and everyone they pass will wish them a happy birthday! 

Also at the family restaurant they will song and being out a special slice of chocolate cake. 

Want to order a cake? Give the park a call, and you can order a cake for $20. It has an image of a mini figure with the child's name, and a few duplos for keeping. They will even provide candles for singing. They cakes are available for pickup at the Funtown market. They will also box up and hold the cake until an hour before the park closes. 

All in all the kids had a great time! Can't wait until miss Tristyn is older and we can plan another trip we can all enjoy!